Honestly? Is it some kind of giant conspiracy like the Grassy Knoll? Everyone talks about how women lie to each other, but few women step up and say: "All right, I'll confess. I have a giant rear end that I squeeze in to Spanx every morning and I go to Mystic Tan every weekend so that people won't notice all the shaving scars on my ankles." Yeah, yeah. I know. There are some - Jenny McCarthy comes to mind. But she gets paid a heck of a lot of money to be funny and brutally honest. Plus, look at her! Who cares if she pooped on the table during labor? She is still hot.
I picture a day kind of like Rosh Hashanah - all the women would stand together and simultaneously repent for all the lies they have told one another.
"Having a newborn is the worst thing that ever happened to me, not the best!"
"I wear control top pantyhose!"
"I have been mad at my best friend for 10 years and haven't told her! Instead, I just encourage her to have a second helping of dessert every time we are out to eat together!"
And so on.
Though we do tend to lie to one another about our beauty routines, our true feelings for one another, etc., there is really one main category in which most lies fall: parenting. We lie to everyone about how dang hard it is to be a parent. To make matters worse, when our children grow up and have children of their own, we lie to them even more about parenting! Or, we have some kind of retrograde amnesia.
My mom: "Oh dear, I just don't know why your daughter is so difficult. You girls never threw tantrums, so I can't help you with your little terror. My, my. When you girls were less than two years old, you would get up early and make gingerbread cookies. You'd bring them to your father and I as breakfast in bed. Then you would kiss us with your sweet little baby lips and go quietly back to your rooms where you would stay for the rest of the day, studying Shakespeare."