Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Selfishness Abounds

I am feeling much better since the end of my red days (kind of like Picasso's blue period).  Wow, was that a bout of grouchiness and self-pity!  However, the one thing I can't shake is the white-knuckle fear I have about having another baby.  For the most part, having an almost three-year-old is really easy, comparatively.  She dresses herself, bathes herself, feeds herself, uses the restroom independently, sleeps until 7 a.m., etc.  It took three very tumultuous years to reach this point, and I am just trying to gear myself up to do it all over again.

Thinking about this at 2 a.m. last night, I realized that selfishness has crept back in.

Now, I was never the mom who felt selfish about time to myself to shower, watch t.v., go to the movies, spend time alone, etc.  The two things I am most selfish about are sleep and food.  I don't like to give up sleep.  It is such a joyous thing.  The other is food.  I'll be honest, I am resentful that I have to share my drink, my fries, the last bite of my apple slathered in yummy peanut butter.  This is the hardest thing for me.

I'm curious, for you other parents or future parents-to-be, what are the things you are still selfish about or think you will be selfish about?

Now, I'm off to gorge myself with whatever food I can find since I have some peace and quiet and no little hands to steal from me.  After that, I might take a nap.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya! Rich and I have considered a third child (not that we aren't staying busy with the two we have...what are we thinking!?) The one thing keeping us from child #3 is selfishness. We are finally to the point where the kids mostly sleep through the night. We can leave them in a room alone and they play together and refrain from eating objects they may choke on (although they usually destroy the room they are in.) And, they are much more portable. Leif is still a PITA about running off...still need a metaphorical leash for that one, but that will soon change.

    Do we want to do it all over again? Could we stay married through another pregnancy/child? lol

    Oh, and sharing food is also something I struggle with. Rich and I have a babygate at our kitchen entrance and hide the good stuff from the kids....we sneak it later when they are not looking. hehe I know, we can't do that forever.

    I think it is okay to be a little selfish...hey, we work hard! So go sneak that Snickers you are probably craving behind your family's back and feel good about it! It's kind of the same feeling we used to get when doing something behind our parents back as kids... or like me hiding beer cans all over your house during a party. Oh, fun times!